Basel, April 1940.
The room has become silent, Ruth has fallen asleep and I don't know what to do, now that we've supposedly reached our goal, I don't know what else to do. But as she said, we have to be careful. I'll have to find a small job that will allow us to stay here safely.Starting tomorrow morning I'll go look everywhere, I hope that here we'll find a bit of peace, it'll take time to get used to our new environment but I feel that we'll feel good here. I decide to go to bed, the sun is starting to set and the hours of driving have taken a lot of my concentration, and I feel my eyes closing, I pass in front of her room, her mouth is wide open, she's sleeping so well, I can't realize that she's right here with me.She's my lifeline, without her I probably would have killed myself, I know that thought is horrible but what we're forced to do to them makes me sick, I don't even understand the reason for what we have to do. I won't be able to save them all but I want to at least use the strength I have left for her.
The next morning.
Noise in the kitchen wakes me up with a start, I look at my watch and it's only five in the morning, so Ruth surely isn't in the kitchen, but then who is it? A thief? I grab my belt and walk quietly toward the source of the noise, I prepare my body and my hands to attack, I get closer…
—Ah, you're awake?
—Ruth, you scared me.
—Why?
—I thought you were a thief, I was this close to catching you with this belt.
—Ah sorry, I meant well.
—What are you doing anyway?
—I thought since we'll probably stay here for a while, I went to get all our stuff from the car, did I do well?
—Uhm yes of course, thank you. I added while scratching my neck.
—By the way Heinrich, shouldn't we change our identities?
—No, here we won't need to.
—Ahh that's good then, I admit that the idea of changing my first name didn't excite me at all.
—I understand, I'll go do a bit of scouting for a job since I'm awake.
—Alright, I'll wait for you.After getting dressed, I head to the door but turn around before opening it.
—Ruth?
—Yes?
—Avoid going out, we don't yet know how people here behave, I don't want to lose you so please, promise me you won't go out. Okay?
—Uhm yes okay, I… I promise you.Despite the fact that this country welcomes us, I'm still afraid something might happen to her, and I'd feel so guilty and I especially don't want to come home and see no one waiting for me. The weather is starting to get warmer, soon I won't even need to take my jacket to go out.
After several shops.
I see in the distance a small bakery with the words Confiserie Schiesser written above the door. I open the door and a small bell rings in the room, a man appears, with flour all over his hands.
—Hello young man, what can I do for you?
—Hello sir, I'm looking for a job, would you have one for me?
—Hmm that depends, are you planning to ask me for a big salary?
—No, honestly I just want to be paid enough to pay my rent.
—Mhmm alright, where do you live?
—I live at Yvonne's.
—Ahhh well you should have told me sooner, I'll hire you with pleasure.
—Thank you so much, I've almost gone around the whole town looking for a job, you're saving me. I said with a big smile.
—You're welcome, but tell me, do you even know how to do anything with your hands?
—Yes sir, I used to cook regularly with my mother, so I learned a few things, if I can say so.
—Perfect, in that case, follow me, I'll explain how I work.
—Okay.
—So, here I mostly sell Zopfs, they look like this, they're braided brioche breads.
—That's understandable, they look very appetizing.
—It's true they are, every morning I always have customers who come to buy them, that's what makes my weekly salary. He said with a big smile.He explains to me the most important recipes to make and we spend the afternoon in the back room. In just a few hours I quickly became a little baker, I even think I'm talented. The sun is starting to set, and I need to go home to make sure everything's okay with Ruth.
—I think, Heinrich, you can go now, it's late and I imagine your wife is waiting for you.
—Thank you sir, see you tomorrow morning.
—Yes, see you tomorrow, on time don't forget.
—I'll be there sir, and on time.The rest of the way is filled with worry, I'm afraid for her, what if something happened to her while I was spending my day peacefully in a bakery.I climb the stairs very quickly, four steps at a time. I open the door so forcefully that I see Ruth jump in fright.
—Oh my God, sorry for scaring you, I didn't mean to.
—Yeah well I hope it wasn't on purpose, I was this close to having a heart attack. She explained with her hand on her heart.
—I was worried so I overreacted.She catches her breath, and sits down on a chair, sighing heavily.
—When you're done staring at me, maybe you'll come eat, huh?
—Uhm yes of course, I'm coming right away.
—I couldn't do much, but here are some potatoes with cauliflower, I hope that's okay.
—I'll eat well, thank you for your time in the kitchen. She smiles at me and starts eating.
After the meal.
—I forgot to ask you, but did you manage to find a job?
—After several hours of searching, yes, I finally found a job, and I feel that I'll like it, anyway the boss is very nice.
—That's great then, we'll be able to stay here without any problem.
—Yes, that's true.
The rest of the evening passes in silence, Ruth is washing while I decide to look around the apartment a bit, it's true that it's small but I already feel at home, and I like this new feeling of safety that I'm feeling right now.
Despite everything that has happened since I met Ruth, I realize that I've fallen even more in love with her, all these weeks spent together have made me realize how much her presence helps me hold on.I think I've fallen even more in love with her, I realize now that my gaze toward her has never changed, since the first day, I've been obsessed with her.