"Not bad, even if you needed to be healed 15 times, you managed to run for 3 hours without complaining."
How the fuck could I complain when I barely have the energy to even think?!
"Thank you Anne, you may take a break as well."
The newly crowned Demon king then snapped his fingers and an entourage of maids transporting what suspiciously looked like a feast appeared.
"As you might have noticed, since you really didn't puke, Anne's healing is still somewhat lacking."
At his words, the girl in question lowered her head. I wanted to say something, to defend her, but… it was true.
A healing spell that converts calories into healing is not really a healing spell, it's more like… accelerating the natural course of events.
"It's seems you agree? Why so?"
Is this another test? Is the Demon king of wrath fishing for bitchslapping material?
I thought for some seconds on how to actually answer and only after I was sure my cheeks were safe I spoke up.
"I'm deeply grateful for miss. Anne's ability to accelerate the natural course of events without actually compromising my progress."
I thought that after all, it was better this way. If her spell worked like a true healing spell there was a chance that the cost for my healing would be the actual loss of all my progress.
Tch.
Did the old man actually click his tongue?!
I was starstruck. The bastard was really fishing for bitchslapping material!
"Eat up pup, next is combat and weapon training. Anne dear, I'm sorry to trouble you, do you mind sharing a table with that pup?"
"Of course not, head butler."
While they were talking, I was starring in confusion at the table.
There were too many forks, and knives, and spoons, and glasses.
What the fuck?
Eyes spinning, mind numbing and stomach growling, I was a second away from forgoing all manners and just pick up food with my hands when the little hand of my personal angel pointed at specific fork and knife.
"The pup doesn't even know how to eat? Where have you lived? In a dumpster?"
"Well instructor. In the last 365 day, I have eaten a grand total of 249 portions of cup noodle, drank double the amount of coffee and was lucky enough to eat a little more the 100 fruits. So forgive me if I only know how to use chopsticks and drink from a paper cup."
I've had it.
These bastards live in such luxury that starvation is like a myth to them, they even treat food like a past time, when I had to live feeling starved perpetually.
"So fogive me if I stuff myself like a wolf tasting meat for the first time, because it's true."
It isn't, but the point stands.
For a moment, all eyes were on me, but I didn't give a fuck and just continued to eat my fill of all kinds of meat on the table avoiding all grains and veggies like the plague. The world seemed to still and the only thing that mattered was that my stomach was filling.
"Fine, eat as you wish, I'll teach you slowly."
I nodded without even looking at him.
I had clear priorities.
While I was eating with obvious delight painted across my face, every servant in the room had the same exact thought.
How is this bastard son of disorder still alive with eating barely 249 cups of cup noodles?
Their mistake was understandable, in their eyes, I clearly had the same exact purity of confusion mana their masters had.
___________________
A young man could be seen holding his own with pride against an experienced warrior only through sheer talent and determination.
Clearly, experience meant nothing in front of the valiant young man, he was able to replicate every movement by barely looking at it once and the battle tempered warrior was gleefully acknowledging his outstanding talent.
That's how I was furiously trying to delude myself in believing I was actually doing something incredible instead of getting my ass handed to me in a golden plate.
Every punch the Head Butler threw, hit mercilessly.
Every kick, push, glare. It was the perfect way to kill my ego.
As for me?
I really was trying my best, I understood the principles behind those moves, but it all felt so wrong.
"WHY CAN'T YOU EVEN SIDESTEP DECENTLY?! HAVE YOU EVEN WALKED BEFORE?"
That was the current level of frustration the Demon instructor was feeling with my messing up.
Even after bones broke and my body almost collapsed on its own, barely saved by Saintess Anne, nothing was making sense to me, and I couldn't go on like this.
"BECAUSE IT'S ALL WRONG! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AT ALL! I CAN NOT DODGE LIKE THAT!"
"THEN DO IT YOUR WAY FOR FUCK SAKE!!"
Uh! Fucking finally.
My expression changed immediately, I assumed a position so awkward that whoever saw me and had any kind of interest in fighting would only define as an open punching bag.
But it was my posture.
Legs straight and united, spine rigid, neck up and shoulders down.
Yet I finally felt comfortable.
The head butler actually sneered, a dangerous glint in his eyes as he finally approached me.
"Fine, have it your way."
He threw a strait jab at my face, which contrary to all possible prediction missed.
Aaaaaaahhh, yes.
I shifted my center of gravity, my right shoulder heavier and my body tilted just enough to avoid the punch.
The instructor, seeing my, in his eyes, unstable position, swiped his leg in a merciless kick aimed at my knee, but I was already in motion.
My fall continued and just as I was about to crush down, my hand landed on the boss' extended leg which I then used to complete a flip and appear right behind him in my original position.
This! This is how it should have been!
"Fuck, I wasted so much food for healing."
That was my only regret, I didn't mind the training, it gave me some insight on what to expect from the general fighter, but it simply wasn't my style. And honestly, even if I tried, which I really did, it really made no sense at all to my body.
"How?"
The head butler was looking at me like I was an alien creature. It kinda scared me.
"How what?"
"How could you execute such movements? It's physically wrong."
I looked at him straight in the eyes, really looked at him and a thought emerged in me.
Is it because of the path of the Error?
"I don't know how to say this instructor, but I have always moved this way for as long as I have memories."
"It still doesn't make sense."
"Make it make sense then, since when was [disorder] so stuck up? So what if I don't follow your standards? What even are standards in a house that breaks them?"
The butler eyes were fiery.
I started trembling.
I might have bitten more than I can chew.
"Excellently said. Let's resume the beati- training, use your own movement, I'll kick it up a notch now."
"You definitely said beating."
"I did."