Then I spoke finally. The clouds outside in the sky thunder, and here inside the room I say the darkest memory of my life that I have just saw with my own eyes. I am not here to blame someone but why why always me why I was the one who left to be broken why My heartfelt wish didn't come true did I really ask very much to do god did I. All these things are keep on going inside my mind and My Mr heart now gathered the strength it needed to say the truth infront of him and I said I saw you with her with that girl the moment I came here to call you I saw both of you very close together too close she is hugging you and you were about to hug her and then after that I wasn't able to see it anymore Yuan I didn't have any complain regarding that it's just why you didn't tell me that you didn't like me did I ever force myself on you did I really maybe I did because if I didn't then you'll definitely tells me the truth.
Then I exhaled sharply and said while closing my eyes for a second that look Yuan I know you are such a nice person you can't see anyone getting hurt because of you and I know that you were really doing those things for making me happy and it was nothing more than that nothing you know what Yuan you were right I am really a very silly girl look I didn't even able to realise it that how can Xu Yuan will fallen for me after all I am I am just an ordinary girl infront of him the girl next door I know I don't have a match with you see that why I am calling my self stupid my stupidity didn't let me able to know that you were just forcing everything just because of me so that my Mr heart won't be get broken but Yuan it's better to break my Mr heart at that time because now I have made a world with you in My imaginary world where I live with you there with the thousands of memories that we have created but you know what which is the most hurtful part of it is that everything whatever you have done for me or whatever memories we have created with each other was all just a good deed that you have done for me not love really not love I repeated it again and again.
Then the tears started rolling down from Yuan's eyes after hearing all this from me I was about to stand up from his laps but his grip on me becomes tighter than before.
Yuan leave me I have to go I said it while trying myself to loosen his grips on me but the more forcely I tried myself to loosen it the more tightly he holds me.
Then he said while looking at me no I am not letting you go especially when you are at this state of mind I won't let you go he said it.
Yuan let me go now I have knew that you love someone else so now you don't need to think about me it's just matter of three four days and then I'll be back to my normal life and you also don't need to act like that for me anymore I said it. It's just not that I wanna say it to him it's just something that I have to told him or maybe myself to make myself understand that Yuan is not mine he is not made mine never I just saw a dream come true which was just meant to last for few months not more than that and I trusted that few months of happiness into the whole lifetime happiness of mine but it wasn't like that it wasn't.
Then Yuan pressed his hand on my lips and stopped me to speak further then he said now stop talking rubbish I am listening this rubbish from you from such a long time continuously you are talking rubbish and I am listening that but now enough is enough how could you even think like that my love for you was just a work of good deed tell me you only tell remember every single moment of us together from the very first day we met with each other did anything really anything do you feel I did as a good deed was that all a work of my good deed he asked me.
Then I shakes my head and said no in a very little voice of mine.
He exhaled sharply and said I am telling you if you cry like this more I am definitely gonna loose the emotions of mine that I was holding back in my self and for that incident that you are claiming that you have just saw ask yourself first that did whatever you saw was right ask your Mr heart did there is any possibility that it might be right and tell me what your Mr heart tells you I know and you also know that very well that your Mr heart won't lie to you ever.
Then I closed my eyes and the moment I closed my eyes then again that same scene has started playing inside it continuously that I really didn't like to see but I really don't know when my hands holds his sleeves a bit tightly just the moment I saw it my eyebrows frown my eyes are still closed there my forehead has many lines because of the scene that I remembering as Yuan asked me to do it then I can't think about it anymore I was about to open my eyes but he stopped me and said to me in his low calm voice asking me that what you saw is there I hugged her back did I remember it try to remember it he asked me.
Then in that whole memory whatever I saw it really wasn't like that yes he really didn't hugged her back.
Then I opened my eyes and he immediately asked me did I.
No I replied him while shaking my head.
Then he said that yes she did hugged me but I didn't she expressed her feelings to me but I refused her when you went from there I just said to her very clearly that I have already found my loved one and now my heart is full now there is no space left for anyone there and after that she went away and she even apologised to me and said that if she ever knew that I am into someone already then she'll never do that and this was the whole scenario of that incident that you saw it's just you saw and left from there was just the half side of the story the full side was never seen by you that's why people say half knowledge is very dangerous he said it.
Then after hearing what revealed to me just now I asked myself in my inner thoughts that did I was too impulsive did I messed up the things what he gonna think about me that I didn't trust him or I am such an insecure girl.
Hey my silly girl he said and continues and said that you don't have a right to make my girl cry and look what you have done today because of your silliness my girl cried a lot today she must be feel weak after crying this much you have really broken the promise that you have made to me.
What promise I asked him.
The promise that you have given to me that you'll always take care of my girl he said.
I am doing it I replied.
Yes I can see it how well you are doing it he said it in a quiet sarcasm tone.
Now I am taking back that promise from you and now I myself will take care of my girl and you are not allow to interfere in it he said.
I was about to say something but he stopped me and said finger on lips.
And I obeyed him like a kindergarten student obeys their teachers and put my finger on my lips.
He laughs a little while seeing me like that and said you are quite a dramatic girl.
I smiled too after hearing that.
Today you have made my girl suffer a lot now I have to make her feel overwhelmed and then without thinking of a second he kissed my right cheek and then left and then again and then I immediately puts both the hands on my cheeks and said while closing my eyes tightly this time because of my shyness that I am trying to hide it and said I am overwhelmed that's it.
He laughs literally laughs while seeing me like that and said you are soo easy to make blush isn't it.
Then I opened my eyes and said yes very easy but that easiness is for you only.
Then I must be very lucky person in the whole universe that I got a girl who is only very easy to blush by me only he said it.
Stop being proud of yourself for that I just fallen for you way before we met that's why I said it while hiding my blushing from him.
He chuckles and said isn't it enough for me to get proud of myself that I made you fallen for me when we were soo far away from each other when there is no hope for us meeting with each other when difference and distances between us is the major problem but our love defeated every odds and now we are together right here holding each other he said.
Then we both wipes away each other's tears with each others hands which gets dried on our cheeks as we went soo far in our conversation that we didn't even realise when our tears get dried and even we forgot that why we were having those dried tears on our faces and right now I am still sitting on his laps like a five year old kid that he always said to me not my fault he didn't letting me move from here but now I found my most safest place in this world is with him when he holds me like this.
I know today's day was quite heavy for both of us the misunderstanding that was happened because of me was really needed between us as because of that only we openly express our feelings and emotions to each other today without any hesitations in this whole world the best feeling is to love and to be loved by your love and today I got the both and accomplished this feeling of mine.
I know today because of me seeing half incident of that can make things worst for us but how can I forgot that he is My Yuan Yuan who really knows how to deal with the problems calmly and handle it well and especially how to handle his silly girl I laughed a little while thinking that.
Why are you laughing he asked me.
Nothing much I replied.
Then how much I wanna know he asked me.
You are literally becoming an over controlling over possessive boyfriend don't you think that so I asked him.
Yes maybe but it's all your fault I had nothing to do in it it's just you who made me like this but didn't you enjoy this side of me the most he asked it while raising one of his eyebrows and I know when this expression comes from him it's really a warning before his teasing gets started I really well knew it.
But then before I say anything to his reply the clouds thunder again outside and I got startled and he immediately holds me more tightly and said don't worry I am here with you now always and forever and that's it this line from him is enough for me and then people ask me what is comfort for me and my comfort place is him and the whole comfort for me is him.
The rain outside the window started pouring more on the ground heavily but now it again seems to me very pleasant and peaceful just like before as always but the thing is that now I am with my Yuan and he is the one who made me fall into love with my fear yes fear since childhood I was very afraid of rain but the moment I saw him in that C drama series drenching in rain I just started liking the rain he made my biggest fear of life to the biggest love of my life he made me found peace in my fear and only My Yuan can do it as only he has this much powerful impact on Zhao Shiza in this whole universe soo thank you Yuan for unknowingly making me fallen for my biggest fear making it my most favorite peaceful and full of hope season.
Whenever I feel hopeless and think that in this world nothing is left for good then this rain the weather changing these droplets and this cloud thundering and the colour of the sky makes me believe that there is still a hope left in this world good things might happen still don't be hopeless and look today also this weather did same to me.
And then it was all the things that I was keep on thinking in My Mr heart and Yuan just sitting in the same position on the couch holding me like this for many hours and still he didn't move an inch he didn't say anything else now even I didn't say anything else for almost half an hour we are just listening to each other's heartbeats which beats in a same sync of rhythm together and I hope it always will like this forever n ever.
The rain outside getting more and more heavier and inside it we are just lost lost in each other's arms finding the lost peace in each other while holding each other and the misunderstanding that was created by me has finally cleared like a clean fresh air that comes right after the rain...