The time has arrived. I am standing right in front of the main door of our home, where we were living since last one week. Yes, I have stayed here just for one week, but it seems like I have lived here for decades. But now today I am leaving this home—our home—taking lots of memories with me and our unforgettable moments that we shared together. Here we cried, we laughed, we smiled, we teased each other, we felt shy, and I got my most embarrassing moment in my life in this home only. This home really gave me a life—a life which I always craved for, a life with Yuan that I always dreamt of living with him. And this home… this home gave me all these memories and moments and made them real for me, and I breathed in my dream. I never thought that an ordinary fan girl like me would ever be able to feel these things with him. Sometimes I really get confused in myself—is it my dream or is it really happening? No matter what it is, but I just want to say that, Zhao Shiza, if this is your dream then don't wake up from it—don't ever, because life is really nothing without him. If this is just a dream, then live here only for your whole life, because living without him is a sin—a sin to me.
He held both of my hands in his while standing right in front of me at the main door with my suitcase. Then he looked at me again with those tearful eyes.
"Yuan, again you have started. My cry baby is back. You just made me feel like I am going to another country. In fact, I am not even going outside the city—I am just in Shanghai only, and if you ever feel that you need to see me, you can come to my dorm anytime," I said.
The tears finally started falling from his eyes as the time came for me to leave our home. I wiped his tears with both of my hands. He held both of my hands in his and said, "Now how will I be able to get these tiny little hands which try to wipe my tears?"
"Yuan Yuan… oh my lovely boyfriend, the Xu Yuan, you are really in your C-drama character zone and crying like a male lead when his female lead is going somewhere else, far away from him, and then suddenly something bad happens to that female lead—"
The moment I said this, he put his hand on my mouth and said, "Don't you dare to curse my girlfriend."
I smiled and said, "Yuan, I am the one—your girlfriend."
"Then if you know this, then stop cursing her and using these bad things about my girlfriend," he said.
Then he looked at me, and I looked at him, and then he said, "It's Zhao Shiza's Yuan's promise that we will never be apart, no matter how many hurdles come between us, no matter how long the distance and differences are between us, we will always find a way to reach each other—we will always. We promise this to each other," he asked me while taking my hands in his hands.
I don't know—I really don't know when next time I will be able to hold this hand in mine like this. I don't know when. But I want that this touch, this warmth in my hands, will stay like this forever in my hands, and maybe—maybe at worst, someday I might forget everything in my life, even my own self, but the only thing that I will remember till then also will be you. It will always be you—my Yuan, always. And it's Yuan's Zhao Shiza's promise to my Yuan Yuan," I said while holding his hand and trying to make this moment stop here only.
Time really has a very good quality in it—that it passes very quickly, like the time passed very quickly from my teenage days to today when I was far away from him. But the worst quality of time is also the same—that it passes too quickly, and our time together, that we spent since when we first met on our look test day till today, has not only passed—the time period of us just flew away so quickly that no matter how hard I try to catch it and grab it in my hand, it just runs out of my hand like water droplets of rain.
"Yuan, we knew that very well from the starting of our relationship. Yes, we didn't ever talk about it to each other, but inside us we knew that we both belong to two very different worlds which are never going to collide with each other, and the time we have spent together was just for a shorter period of time. And I don't know how, out of the blue, I just fell into your world. But the thing is that this stay has now come to an end, and now we need to go back to our own worlds from where we belong," I said.
I smiled and said, "You are still in your world only. I am the one guest here in your world, and today is my departure from here, and I need to go back to my world again. But it doesn't mean that I leave you like this. Now that we have finally met, even after getting back to our own worlds, we will still make both our worlds collide with each other, which may cause destruction among our both worlds—but who cares? Who really cares for it?" I said while smiling like an idiot, because if I stop smiling like this, I might not be able to leave him.
Then I turned around, and while showing my back to him, I said, "Okay, Mr. Xu Yuan, nice stay here. I would like to—"
I was about to complete my sentence, but he suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him and hugged me, and started crying while hiding his face on my shoulder.
I tried to make him calm while saying, "Yuan, I am not going anywhere. I am just a few hours away from here, and we will meet—we will definitely meet. Don't actors get time to meet their girlfriends? Tell me," I asked him.
"So we will meet—we will definitely," I said.
But he didn't say anything to me. He was just still crying—crying like a little baby. I know my Yuan is emotional, but today his emotions were flowing like a river, and to make him calm and lighten his mood a little, I tried my distraction theory on him again and said in a playful tone, "Yuan, you know your yesterday's visit in Thailand went viral when you went there for promoting the sunscreen product with the tagline of #firstlove, which really suits you. But have you ever imagined that if your Thailand fans see you like this, what they will think—that their son-in-law, as they used to call you, is a cry baby? Trust me, it will make them go mad over you again and again, even more if they see how cute you look when you cry like this. You are such a baby, Yuan," I said.
And he smiled finally and said, "I don't care who sees me in which state."
"So what do you care about?" I asked.
"The only thing I care about is you—only you," he said.
I looked down for a while at the floor, then I looked up at him and said, "You know what? How dazzlingly, charmingly, breathtakingly handsome you looked at your event in Thailand while promoting that sunscreen product—all white: white shirt, white long coat, white pants, and even your shoes were silver coloured, but they still gave shades of white," I said to divert his mind somewhere else so that when I leave this home, he won't feel my emptiness here.
"All white, isn't white your favourite colour?" he said.
"So you wore that on the event purposely because it's my favourite colour?" I asked, a bit shockingly.
He looked away somewhere else and smiled and said, "For my girlfriend."
"I am the one—your girlfriend," I said.
Then now the time had arrived, and now I had to go. And then I immediately turned my back to him and held my suitcase, and before leaving the house I said, while turning my back at him, "It was really nice to meet you and live with you, Yuan Yuan. I hope in the future we may cause destruction among our worlds for coming together and living with each other. Bye-bye, Yuan Yuan, my extremely possessive and protective boyfriend."
And then after saying this and making my little heart's burden a little lighter, I walked out from there without looking back, because if I did, then I wouldn't be able to leave. And now there was no turning back—my time limit had finished. I needed to get back to my world. I really… but you know, you know that I love you…