I stay on the bed, rolling back and forth on it like what feels like hours. I try to stay still but I can't, I see his face every time I close my eyes. The event of the day stays with me throughout, Rex's confrontation and Kael's disappointment.
The two of them look at me like I'm a fragile object, to be look after closely.
I feel my heart pounding like it's about to burst, I put my hand against my chest trying to slow the pace. I am happy.
I should feel miserable. But a little part of me feels proud.
But a small part of me… feels proud. I finally stood up to him. To Rex. I finally told him off without trembling. Without backing down, for the first time since I came into this pack, I felt like me again. The old Raya. The one who didn't let anyone walk over her.
Still, the victory tastes bitter. My lips are dry. My throat feels raw. I keep thinking of his face when I called him out low. Something flickered behind his eyes. Regret maybe, or pain. I'm not sure. But I don't care. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
A soft knock interrupts my thoughts.
I turn toward the door. "Come in."
A young maid walks in quietly, carrying a tray. Steam curls from the covered plates.
"My lady, your lunch is ready," she says, bowing her head slightly.
Her voice is low, calm, and cautious. She's trying to be careful.
She brings the tray closer and the smell hits me strongly. My stomach turns badly.
Before I know what I am doing, I'm running.
I barely make it to the washroom before everything inside me comes out. My body heaves again and again until there's nothing left. My throat burns, my eyes water, and I cling to the sink, breathing hard.
The maid rushes in after me, her face pale. "Oh, goddess! Are you alright, my lady?"
I wave a hand weakly, trying to catch my breath. She rubs my back gently, her hand small and steady against my trembling body. After a while, she hands me a cup of water. "Rinse your mouth," she says softly.
I do as she says, then lean back against the wall. "I'm fine," I whisper, though my voice shakes.
She helps me stand and walks me back to the bed. My head feels light. My skin clammy. The air feels thick around me.
The maid sets the tray aside. "Should I get the pack doctor?" she asks carefully.
"No." My voice comes out sharper than I intend. I shake my head. "No one must know. Not yet. Just leave me, I will be fine."
Her eyes flicker with worry, but she nods.
"My Lady, I have some training in medicine," she says. "I can take a look if you allow me."
I hesitate. My mind spins. Then I nod. "Do it. Just tell me what's wrong."
She moves closer, her eyes scanning me with quiet focus. She touches my wrist, checks my pulse, her fingers brush my eyelids, then my palm. She frowns slightly, looking thoughtful.
I sit still, watching her face. Every second stretches too long.
Finally, she takes a small step back, her hands folding in front of her. A faint smile touches her lips. "With the way your eyes look, the color of your skin, the dryness of your palms, and the sickness you just felt… I would say congratulations, your highness."
My heart stops. "Congratulations?"
She nods gently. "You'll be a mother soon."
The words don't make sense. They stay in the air between us, heavy and unreal.
"What?" I ask, almost whispering. "No. That can't be right."
Her expression softens, patient but certain. "It's true. The signs are clear."
I blink hard. My throat tightens. My hands begin to tremble. "It can't be."
She gives me a look of quiet understanding. "It's early, but your body already knows. You'll see for yourself soon."
I stare at her, unable to speak. The room feels smaller. My chest feels too tight.
I sink back onto the bed, my legs weak. The maid stands there watching me in confusion.
A mother.
The word echoes in my mind, over and over.
I press my palms to my stomach, as if I'll feel something there. There's nothing. Just warmth. Just fear.
Rex's face flashes through my mind again. The night everything changed. The one night I told myself meant nothing. The one night I swore I'd forget.
And now this.
I shut my eyes, my thoughts scattering.
Kael's voice follows next, the way he'd looked at me that day, hurt and angry. "I can smell someone else on you," he'd said. I'd brushed it off, thought he was being possessive again. But maybe he wasn't wrong. Maybe… he sensed it before I did.
I swallow hard.
What am I going to do? How do I even face Rex now? He barely looks at me without his guard up. He hates that he feels anything for me. What will he do when he finds out about this?
I can't think straight. My fingers dig into the sheets.
The maid's words keep replaying.
"Congratulations."
No. There's no congratulations in this.
My throat feels raw again, and I lie down, staring at the ceiling. My heart pounds in uneven beats.
I try to convince myself it's not true. That the maid made a mistake. But deep down, I know she didn't. I've felt the difference in my body these past few days, the fatigue, the nausea, the strange flutter of warmth under my ribs.
The realization hits me harder this time. I cover my face with both hands, shaking my head slowly.
I'm not ready for this.
I can't be.
Rex doesn't even want me near him. He made that very clear. And yet, here I am, carrying a part of him. A bond stronger than the seal, stronger than any ritual.
I turn on my side, curling up. The faint scent of the food still lingers in the room, making my stomach churn again.
The thought slips out before I can stop it. "What am I supposed to do now?"
The walls don't answer.
The only thing I hear is my heartbeat. Fast, wild, terrified.
I rub my thumb against my stomach again. The motion is small, nervous, unsure.
Tears fill my eyes before I can stop them. I wipe them away angrily. I shouldn't cry. I've been through worse. I've survived worse.
But this…this is different.
This isn't something I can fight. This isn't a battle I can win by being strong.
I don't even know if Rex deserves to know.
He's already breaking apart from his curse, from his guilt, from his past. Would this heal him or destroy him completely?
I close my eyes and whisper to myself, "Please, don't let this be real."
But deep down, I know it is.
"Can you prepare a bath for me?" I ask.