It was finally Friday.
She could not wait to go back home and just sleep before getting ready to go to the Alibi. That week had been terrible, especially after what had happened with Lip and with Milkovich's cousin.
His name was Iggy, and they had fucked in an alley. Desna had a few drinks before doing it, but she could remember most of it, and she felt like a stupid. She didn't know what she wanted to prove. Maybe she had no feelings for Lip, and she could have sex with several people.
But you can!
She said to herself. To Lip, she was only Simone to fuck; she could have been anyone. So why would she care about Phillip Gallagher? She was a beautiful girl, many boys would have liked to have their way with her, fuck Lip Gallagher.
Maybe she should have learned from him, who seemed so eager to let her know he fucked Karen at every chance that he had.
But she was this guilty feeling inside, and she hated it because Lip was an asshole, and she was much more than a good fuck. He didn't deserve anything from her.
"Hey," Desna was putting her books in the locker as Iggy's voice made her turn. He was leaning her shoulder against the metal of the lockers, observing her up and down.
"Hey," she said quietly, turning to look at her books.
"I was wondering if you are free at lunch," he asked, keeping his eyes on her. She could not deny that he was making her uneasy.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said, closing her locker. She was ready to leave, but he blocked her by the wrist.
"I can't stop thinking about you," he said, pulling her closer, but Desna tried to do everything she could to keep her distance.
"I really need to go," she said, getting free from his grip before turning to walk away.
"In your locker, there's my number," she heard him say, "Call me if you need it!"
Desna fastened her pace to try and keep as much distance as she could. She had been really stupid, Milkovichs were almost criminals, couldn't she go have sex with someone in the library?
If V and Kev came to know that, she was dead.
"Yo, Des!" Lip's voice had a strange effect on her. Although she was glad to see him, she felt anger and shame at the same time.
"Hi," she said as she kept walking in the corridor, not looking at him, to reach her next class.
"You haven't been answering my calls," Lip said, walking next to her.
"Jeez, let me think," she answered sarcastically, "Why should I answer you if I'm not in the mood for fucking?"
"So funny, Des," he said without humor, "That's hilarious,"
"At least one of us finds it funny," she answered, annoyed.
"Another hilarious thing is why Iggy Milkovich is talking about you?" Lip words made her close her grip on the books in her hands when she noticed the strange tone in which he had talked.
"And what's into you if he is talking about me? It's not like he is talking about your best friend, even if I think it's only a matter of time," She said before he gripped her arm, making her turn. His eyes were wide as he looked at her in disbelief.
"You're fucking him?!" He asked, louder than he should have, in fact some students turned towards them.
"Shut the fuck up!" She muttered, grabbing one of his wrists to pull him into a closet.
"I can't fucking believe it!" She heard him say, and that angered her even more.
"The nerve of you, you asshole!" She turned to him, doing all her best to not scream in his face."What do you fucking care?!" She kept saying, "What the fuck do you want?! I'm nothing to you, you've make it very clear. We are not exclusive, right? We are nothing! So I can go around fucking whoever I want!"
He was angry; she could see it clearly, but she almost felt proud of herself for that. "Are you happy now?" he asked, his jaw tense.
"Very," she said, keeping her head up as she glared at him. "So maybe you'd understand how I feel." Lip moved his hands, suddenly pushing the books from her hands, making them fall to the floor.
"You did it to get back at me?" He asked in a low voice, his face inches from hers.
"What is it, Lip?" she asked, leaning forward. "I thought we said no jealousy."
Before she could move away Lip's hands grabbed her head moving her forward, "I'm not jealous," he whispered before crushing his lips o hers. Desna hated herself, but her hands moved to the back of his neck to keep him against her longer. He then pushed back until her back hit an old desk, making a cracking noise. His arms went around her waist to lift her so that she could find herself seated and setting himself in between her legs.
Desna let out a moan as she could feel his hard-on against her core, "I don't give a shit about who you're fucking," he said as one of his hands got past the hem of her pansies.
"Strange way of proving your point," she sassed before a moan escaped her lips as he started to rub her.
"I'm not proving a point," he protested, working on her faster.
"Keep telling yourself tha- fuck!" She said, throwing her head back as one of his fingers entered her.
"You're already wet for me," he said with a chuckle as he worked on her.
"Go fuck yourself," she was able to say before he kissed her again. Their lips clashed against each other, his other hand holding her from the back of her head while her hands gripped his shoulders harder so that she could have better leverage to move her hips to meet his hand, "He didn't even make you cum, right? You'd be much nicer today if someone had made you cum," He said with a stupid smirk on his face.
"Go fuck yourself," she said in a moan.
"I'm about to," and for how much she hated it, she could not stop herself as her hands helped him to get her out of her pans. She quickly helped him undo his, bringing them down just enough so that he could take out his cock. He was quick to pull her closer so he could move his hips to thrust into her. They both moaned at the feeling.
"Fuck you," she said, making him chuckle in her ear as he started to pick up his pace. He got them quick and strong, making her whine. One of her arms went across his shoulder so that she could meet his thrust.
"Lip," she moaned in his ear as he thrust up, "God, Lip, don't fucking stop."
"Fuck, Des!" He kept increasing his pace as he moved his head just enough for them to look in the eyes. They just stared at each other as their hips met, their faces tinted in red, and their mouths panting. He gripped her hip to bring her closer to his. And as she looked at him, she moved her hand to his hair. His eyes got softer as he looked at her.
"Fuck, Des," he muttered, "It wasn't good. Tell me it wasn't," his forehead went on hers.
She wanted to lie and tell him that it had been. That she didn't want him, that he meant nothing to her. She knew she should have told it to him; she knew she should have made him hurt somehow, but only the thought of that made tears form in her eyes. He noticed her expression, and he stopped his movement.
"Des?" He whispered, his hand moving gently to her cheek.
"He wasn't you," she said with honesty. She didn't care if she sounded desperate; she had to say it.
Lip looked at her for a moment, his blue eyes wide, but suddenly, he crushed his lips into hers again, kissing her hard as his hips started to move once again, soon picking back the fast pace. They hold to each other, kissing each other until they both climax together.
As they tried to control their breathing, they stayed in each other's arms, lips almost touching as their chests moved to allow the air to fill their lungs. His arms were secured on her waist, caressing her skin as she kept him close by her shoulders.
"What am I to you?" She asked again, and she saw him close his eyes.
"Please, stop it," he said. "We don't need to give it a name. " But as he moved to kiss her, she moved away. Her action made him frown as she looked at him.
"I can't do this anymore," she said, pushing him lightly so that she could get down from the desk.
"What?" Lip asked as he looked at her, picking her pants from the ground so that she could put them back.
"I can't do this anymore," she repeated more firmly.
"Are you fucking serious right now?" He asked, almost offended.
"Yeah, I'm fucking serious," she stated as she picked her books up in her arms to walk towards the door, but before she could open it, Lip shut it again, putting a hand on it so that she could not open it again.
"You can't do this," he said, looking at her in the eyes, "You can't break up with me over Karen,"
"It's not about Karen," she said, shaking her head.
"Of course, it's about Karen!" But that only made her snap.
"It's not about fucking Karen!" She yelled in his face, "It's about me and you. It's about me!" She said, "And the fact that I feel like a fucking whore!"
"You're not a whore!" He argued.
"Then what am I?!" She asked again, "What the fuck am I to you?" she observed as he took a breath lowering his gaze, and that made her eyes water.
"You care about her more than me," she said bitterly as tears slipped from her eyes, "Maybe I fuck you better, but at least you feel something for her."
He could not even look at her in the eyes. That was just a confirmation for her.
"Fuck, I'm out," she said, moving his arm away so that she could finally open the door.