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15. Poor Dalton Racers
"Okay."
I hugged him tight. His smooth skin, as if coated with glaze, touched my face.
Resting my face on his chest, I listened to his heartbeat. Then, a sound slightly different from Arwin's was heard.
A calm heartbeat. It was the heartbeat of Dalton, who possessed only one heart.
"As expected, you only wanted to be a libertine for Arwin."
Dalton spoke in a voice mixed with a light sigh.
"Is that so? Surely you aren't cursing me immensely inside now, right?"
"No way. But my body might not be okay."
"...."
"It's okay. It might be a little angry right now, but it will be okay after some time passes."
I wanted to apologize even for his hardened body. I was sincere.
"I'm sorry."
Dalton giggled small.
"Iphoe, that much apology is enough. I feel good just by sharing your warmth."
His hand wrapping around my back was still hot.
"Desolate and long nights. What I need is someone's warmth."
"...."
"After she died, when night came, I missed someone's warmth insanely. To the point where I couldn't fall asleep alone."
"So you lived like a libertine until now?"
"Hmm. Not just for that reason, but it is also because of that reason."
"Poor Dalton Racers."
Somehow, he speaking in a lonely voice felt pitiable.
"Are you missing Arwin's warmth right now?"
Well, I wasn't recalling Arwin's warmth right now. I just felt sorrowful for Dalton's pitiful story.
"Well."
Dalton pulled back the body he was holding a little and looked down at my face. His odd eyes were blinking slowly.
"Is there something you want to do with Arwin? I'll help you."
"Why suddenly?"
Kindness without reason feels suspicious for some reason. Maybe because the person offering to help is Dalton, I feel more suspicious.
"If it's you...."
"If it's me?"
"Never mind. I just wanted to cheer for your love."
He was hesitating to say a certain fact. A light of hesitation was evident in his odd eyes.
What came to mind instantly was about the heart. But I couldn't predict beyond that. Nothing. Not even a very small thing.
So I recited what I wanted to do with Arwin.
"I want to go on a picnic. Is such a thing possible too?"
Even at my out-of-the-blue words, Dalton smiled a smile containing a light of affirmation.
"There is nothing impossible for an Archmage."
After that, we conversed about daily things with our bodies touching each other. What to eat tomorrow. When the rain will come. About such things.
Then, without anyone saying who was first, we fell asleep. It was a very deep sleep where I didn't even dream.
When I opened my eyes again, the surroundings had become bright.
Whether Dalton hadn't tossed and turned even in his sleep, he was hugging me just like before falling asleep. His hand, which missed someone's warmth, was holding my back tight.
I peered intently into Dalton's face with closed eyes.
Following the sunlight seeping through the open window above the bed, the shadow cast on his white face repeated growing and shrinking. His blond hair reflected in the sunlight shone dazzlingly.
Distorting my half-opened eyes, I spoke implicitly.
"Ah, it's dazzling."
Then Dalton, who had his eyes closed, kissed the corner of my eye briefly without even opening his eyes.
Since when was he awake? Dalton slowly lifted his closed eyelids and spoke.
"The weather is nice."
"Indeed."
"Nice weather for a picnic, right?"
"I agree."
How nice would it be if I went on a picnic with Arwin on a day like this.
The feeling of something that seemed absolutely impossible actually happening cannot be defined easily. Even though I experienced such a thing once, I couldn't adapt to experiencing it a second time.
Two decent men walking from afar formed in my vision. Two men with a stark contrast in light and shade. It was Arwin and Dalton.
I raised my seated body and bowed my head toward Arwin. It was a daily greeting any maid leaves to her master.
Soon, the two came completely in front of me and stopped walking. A smile like a full-blown flower hung on Dalton's face, and indifference hung on Arwin's face.
I felt the contrast between the two starkly again.
"Picnic."
Arwin spat out a short word. He tilted his head small as if the nuance of that word was unfamiliar.
"Now, now, since we came on a picnic. Everyone let's sit first. Hmm?"
Dalton seated us like a merchant soliciting customers. We took our places on the cloth I had spread a long time ago.
Am I the only one feeling awkward for no reason?
I looked at Arwin sitting without any inspiration. Whether he couldn't sleep properly last night, he had a more haggard face than yesterday.
A greed arose to stroke his gaunt, dry cheek. But I couldn't just do that abruptly. Somehow I hesitated.
If I stroke your cheek, what face will you make?
I moved my gaze, which was looking at Arwin's face, elsewhere with difficulty. If I keep looking, I might reach out inadvertently.
Then I did the work a maid should do. I put down glass cups in front of Arwin and Dalton and poured red wine into them. It was wine prepared to match the assortment of a picnic.
Arwin's pretty lips, looking down at the wine, parted.
"Dalton."
"Yeah?"
"Is drinking wine in my garden a picnic?"
Arwin looked at Dalton questioningly. It wasn't asked as if displeased, but it looked closer to a tone asking because he was genuinely curious.
That was a point I was also puzzled about. To my words that I wanted to go on a picnic with Arwin, Dalton said let's meet in the garden behind the Marquis's residence at a set time.
After finishing my work early, I came to the garden behind the Marquis's residence in advance and waited for them.
This garden was a place close to a secret garden where only Arwin could enter among the gardens of the Marquis's residence. A hidden garden where only those permitted by Arwin could pass. Dalton designated our picnic spot there.
Of course, I didn't receive Arwin's permission, but I thought Dalton would resolve that. In conclusion, isn't it an atmosphere resolved cleanly?
"Is the place important? If you think it's a picnic, then it's a picnic."
Dalton answered glibly and drank the wine placed in front of him. The red light of the wine was overlaid on his red lips.
"I'll slip out now. Since today is Arwin and Iphoe's picnic."
Dalton put down the glass he was holding and winked at me.
"Oh right. And...."
He rose from his seat and flicked his hand lightly in the air. Then, cherry blossoms began to scatter from somewhere. It was his magic.
That spring Dalton gifted me sometime. Without disappearing or being forgotten, it was settling on my head with the warmth spring possesses intact.
"Then, bye."
Dalton walked far away quickly. His figure disappearing happened in an instant.
As Dalton, who had been chattering alone, disappeared, a deep silence lingered between us. Arwin, unlike him, opened his palm and received the falling cherry blossoms. The cherry blossoms placed on his white palm were dancing.
"What will the Marquis do when spring comes?"
"Well. Nothing particular."
Arwin's voice contained within the cherry blossoms sounded distant. Although it was a voice clearly heard from nearby, it was resonating faintly like something in a dream.
Surely, I'm not dreaming right now, am I? A long dream of going on a picnic with Arwin. I felt the boundary between reality and imagination becoming obscure.
"I just thought, maybe I should plant a cherry blossom tree."
Arwin's voice was heard as a clearer sound than a moment ago. Enough to make my doubt of it being a dream feel meaningless.
"I will quit my job as a maid before winter comes."
"Suddenly?"
"Yes. Because a sudden matter arose."
Arwin gathered his hand, which was straightly open, and looked straight at me. If I hoped he would feel a little regret at my words of quitting, that would be my greed.
As expected, no regret whatsoever lingered in his black eyes touching me. He was just indifferent, and indifferent again.
Dalton's words telling me not to expect emotions from Arwin might be correct.
"I thought I wouldn't be able to see spring together, but somehow we did greet spring together."
"I see."
I am happy that you are in the scenery of spring that will be remembered last. I will never forget this moment where cherry blossoms are swirling around you.
Arwin stared at me for a long time without even touching the glass cup placed in front. Whether he had nothing particular to say, he didn't speak to me.
Even in the meantime, the cherry blossom rain fell without resting. Unless Dalton stops it, it will be a rain that never ceases. I fingered the cherry blossom placed on the back of my hand and parted my lips.
"Marquis, have you ever seen someone die?"
Ah, is the question strange?
I tried to ask again with the question of whether he had been to someone's funeral. But Arwin answered without hesitation.
"Yeah. A very long time ago."
It was an answer as if he hadn't noticed the fact that my question was strange.
"How did you feel?"
"Well."
Focus blurred in Arwin's eyes. He looked as if recalling an old memory not far away.
Whose death was the death he witnessed? I was curious about that point, but I didn't intend to ask about the death he saw.
Because,
"If... what do you think it would be like if I die?"
Because my death facing me was more important to me.
"...."
Arwin closed his lips heavily.
While thinking I shouldn't be greedy, I was greedy again. I expected the answer I wanted to come out of his mouth. For instance, an expectation for an answer like 'My heart will hurt.'
Arwin's silence grew longer. That silence was a silence adding to my expectation.
"Well."
Making the fact I expected embarrassing, Arwin answered very briefly. A bitter smile formed inadvertently. Just what am I wishing for.
I was confused about what more I should wish from Arwin, and what more I shouldn't wish.
In truth, I don't know well how not to wish anymore. There was no exit in the heart loving and wishing for him.
It was then. Someone's angry voice came from the air.
"Frustrating!"
Lifting my head following the source of the sound, Dalton was seen. He, who said he was going first, was sitting on a branch of a large tree behind me, looking down at us.
Dalton rose from the branch and jumped into the air. His legs were walking in the air drawing a flexible curve. It was an appearance as if walking down stairs.
Dalton, having come down to the ground before I knew it, glared at Arwin terrifyingly. But the trap was that he looked cute rather than scary.
"Arwin. 'Well' to a person dying?"
"Then what should I say?"
"I'm sad. Tears come. I will remember you forever. You should have answered like this!"
Dalton spat out sad words in a theatrical tone one after another. Arwin looked up at Dalton and asked.
"...What does it mean to remember forever?"
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