Once fiction turns into reality, nothing makes sense anymore.But honestly… nothing ever made sense to me in the first place.
I didn't lose my humanity, gender, or family.If I'm being honest… I never truly had any of those.
After my mother died, no one gave me warmth.Not even my father.
My "gender"? It never belonged to me.I never saw myself as a man or a woman — I just wished I had never been born at all.
And a "family"?All they ever did was shape me into a monster.
So the changes to my body and soul… weren't really changes.They were the truth showing itself — peeling off the layers of lies I used to survive.What I am now… is what I've always been.Just more honest.
—
I leaned on the balcony of Jester's apartment, staring at the endless alleys lit by the red moon.The underworld smelled like hatred and lust — thick enough to choke someone.
But I liked it.More than the surface.
Down here, nothing is pretending to be holy.No masks. No hypocrisy.Just demons being demons.
It suffocates me because I'm the hypocrite — I lived my whole life pretending to be something I wasn't.
I walked through the alleys. The Damned stared at me with a mix of fear and respect.It was uncomfortable…but it was real.More real than any love I'd ever received.
I found a broken bar — just like the souls who drink in it.Ordered a beer. Lit a cigarette.Finally… a little peace.
Then I noticed a familiar pair of eyes: Envy.For some reason, I waved him over.
He sat beside me and asked,"Do you like the underworld so far?"
I sighed."Surprisingly… yeah. I do."
He looked shocked."How? Didn't we ruin your life? If not for the contract, your family would still be alive. You wouldn't be forced into Lilith's place."
I smirked sadly.
"My 'family' was never a family. They deserved their fate.And besides, you guys… actually accept me.I belong here.That's something I haven't felt in a long time."
Envy gave me that look — the one everyone gives me.Pity.
I groaned."God, I hate that expression on your face."
He blinked, surprised, and said softly,"I don't pity you, Sammail. You just remind me of myself… maybe a better version.I truly envy you."
I laughed."Why the hell would you envy me? I'm a disaster."
"That's exactly what I envy," he said."You know your life is hell… but you still find a way to drink, smoke, and keep going."
It wasn't strength — just habit. But I didn't argue.
Envy asked,"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," I said. "But you answer one of mine too."
He nodded."My question is… do you hate your mother?"
I froze.Not because I didn't have an answer — but because I had too many.
"I know she caused corruption. I know she hurt people. Maybe she was horrible…But she's the only good memory I ever had.So… no.I don't care what she did. I still love her."
Envy suddenly hugged me tight and whispered,"You really are her son…"
He pulled away and added,"So, what's your question, son of Lilith?"
I took a breath."What kind of person was my mother… really?"
He stood up and grabbed my hand."That's a question that needs the right place."
He snapped his fingers — and suddenly we were in a tall black tower filled with shimmering white crows, glowing against the underworld moon.
Envy smiled softly.
"This is the first place your mother showed me after Lucifer made me a fallen human.Crows don't live together… but here, they do.And they're white instead of black."
"Why?" I asked.
He looked up at the crows, eyes filled with memories.
"She told me white crows are like us — fallen humans.We lived lonely, hateful lives…But once we accepted our sins and found each other…we became a family."
He turned to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Your mother was like an older sister to us. A mother, even.We loved her.We still do."
My eyes burned — tears falling before I could stop them.For once, they weren't out of misery…but something like happiness.
I wiped my face and smiled weakly."Yeah… that answers my question."
We sat together under the white crows.Laughing. Talking.
At the end, I asked:
"Envy… what's your real name?And how did you become the sin of envy?"