Kaiser himself was calling me out on my evil business practices. Now I just have to wait for Coil's call to tell me to stop taking advantage of children's underdeveloped brains, Skidmark's call to tell me to stop preying on people's addictions, Lung's call to tell me not to make money off other people's suffering and Jack Slash's call to tell me how I am an overall horrible person for unleashing Loot Boxes into the world.
I mean, they wouldn't be wrong. Definitely hypocritical, but not wrong.
"No, Vicky. Sorry to say that I don't have any job for you right now."
"But I spent it all on Loot Boxes!" the blonde cried out in the call, "I practically returned the money back to you trying to get the rest of my family's logos!"
"What?" I murmured in confusion, "The probability of a person being that unlucky with their Loot Boxes is less than 0.03%!"
"I guess I'm part of that 0.03%?" Vicky winced. "I'm kinda unlucky like that, ehehe?"
"Yes, I suppose you are." My modulated voice sighed, "… fine, I'll introduce a Pity system. So that doesn't happen again. And before you ask, the Pity system is where you're guaranteed to get a 3-Star item after 3 pulls, 4-Star after 10 pulls, and a 5-Star after 80 pulls. Some caveats, but that is the main thrust of it."
"Wait, speaking of which, why is the cosmetics related to my family rated only 3-stars?!"
"Here's some cash." I deflected her question while wiring a thousand dollars to her bank account, "Treat yourself to some Loot Boxes or something."
"Magos, answer me!" Vicky shouted in the call, "Mom's going to hear about being ranked so low!"
I disconnected from the call.
"No, Armsmaster… If you're going to abandon logic and reason, then perhaps your fans would like to know why the rare 'Armsmaster Blue' power armour cosmetics pack will not be released for the Christmas season."
Wearing his signature blue power armour, Meatmaster looked appalled at the accusation as he talked through one of my floating hololithic panes.
"Take that back." He frowned. "I have not abandoned logic and reason, in fact, I am arguing for them. It doesn't make sense that the Armsmaster Blue paint job texture be shared amongst all the power armours in the game!"
"Armsmaster, you're essentially demanding that I make and deploy sixteen different paint jobs- which is currently fifteen more paint jobs than what was agreed upon."
"No." Meatmaster argued, "it is still Armsmaster Blue but with different patterning, they will suit the different power armours in the game more."
Of course, I was completely unimpressed, my Logis Acceleritas already putting together the pieces in my head, and I aimed a flat stare at him which I hoped was visible even through my face augments, and despite having removed most of the flesh and skin on my face.
"This is because Dauntless' cosmetics pack was the highest rated Brockton Bay PRT one on release, and you don't want your former protege surpassing you, isn't it?" I stated, rather than asked. It was no secret that Dauntless' initial rapid rise in popularity was due to him being Armsmaster's protege. An easy way up the social and career ladder while Meatmaster had to take the long and hard route to get where he was today. And now, after Dauntless' cosmetics pack was released and found major success, it seemed like Meatmaster has found yet another reason to be jealous of him.
"No." He sniffed defensively.
"Perhaps you should have put more thought into the marketability of your costume like Dauntless did." I suggested.
That would have been inefficient. Just like Dauntless' costume." Armsmaster gave an uncharacteristic snort of derision, "But let us return to the matter at hand, there is precedent for this: You gave the same treatment for Dragon's power armour cosmetics."
Ah, yes. The sexy AI was flattered by that, and it was also a massive hit with the masses. After all, Dragon was the eminent 'Power Armour' tinker right now. Everyone thinks that Dragon is an imperfect human piloting her dragon suits- never knowing that she IS her armours.
"I was able to appreciate her power armour up close." I nodded- already daydreaming about that AI's glorious ass.
"I believe I understand now." Armsmaster nodded in sudden understanding, "If I sent you accurate references of my power armour as well, would that resolve the issue?"
… wait, was Armsmaster offering me ass picts in exchange for having his cosmetics be better quality? Surely, that's not the cas-
12 Picts received from contact (Armsmaster)
"Why do you have picts of your rear at the ready?" I blinked in mild disbelief- earning a look of confusion from the bearded hero.
"Surely, you are aware that-"
"-the lower-rear assembly of any power armour is important for its motor functions? Yes, I'm aware. That was a rhetorical question. But very well, I'll do as you ask. Just don't send me any more picts like this."
Armsmaster nodded with a small smile.
"I'm glad that I was able to help you achieve a better quality of my cosmetic items, Magos." He diplomatically said, "I'll notify the finance department that we have reached an agreement. The first half of your payment will arrive shortly, as I understand it."
Emotion-Dampening Protocols (EDP) active at 8% maxload.
"I am pleased that we came to a consensus." I responded diplomatically- thankful that the Armsmaster-induced headache was suppressed right out the gat., "Please never again send pcts of your rear unsolicited. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to work on it now."
"Of course, don't let me keep you." Armsmaster gave a small smile. "I look forward to seeing the outcome of the 'Armsmaster Blue' cosmetics pack."
And with that, he disconnected from the call. Hopefully, that will be the end of this madness.
Welcome to the Parahumans Online message boards.
You are currently logged in, Tin_mother
You are viewing:
Threads you have replied to
AND Threads that have new replies
OR private message conversations with new replies
Thread OP is displayed.
Ten posts per page
Last ten messages in private message history.
Threads and private messages are ordered chronologically.
Topic: Rumour: Magos accepting bribe to make cosmetics?
In: Boards Call 4 Duty General
Bagrat (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Posted On Dec 16th 2010:
There is a crazy rumour floating around concerning capes wanting to have their own C4D cosmetics. Rumour has it that if you send Magos pictures of your ass, he'll put more attention into making your cosmetics more detailed and more appealing. And this is going to sound absolutely crazy (because it is) but Armsmaster of all people was the one to come up with the idea, and the first to benefit from it if you can believe it.