The "Estrogen Empire" vs. The "Watson Men"
[Jay's POV]
It was the first morning after the "Analog Acquisition" (Rina moving in). The men were all locked in the library for a "Family Security Briefing," which left the four of us—the ladies of the house—in the morning room.
The air was filled with the scent of organic herbal tea, Rina's vintage ink, and the 2,000% energy of women who knew exactly who actually ran the empire.
The "Bodyguard" Problem
"Is it just me," Rina started, cautiously dipping her fountain pen into a bottle of midnight-blue ink, "or does Keigan look like he's trying to 'Calculate' the exact distance I am from a sharp corner at all times? He followed me to the bathroom this morning and stood outside like a 'Loading Screen'."
Bridget snorted into her protein shake. "Welcome to the Watson Firewall, honey. Felix is currently 'Patrolling' the hallway because I told him I had a slight cramp in my toe. The man literally asked if we needed to 'Scramble a Med-Evac Team' for a toe cramp."
Mamma Serina leaned back, looking like the ultimate Queen Mother. "It never changes, girls. Your Pappa Keizer once tried to ban gravity because I tripped on a rug during my third trimester. He actually looked into 'Anti-Gravity Flooring' for the nursery."
The "Jay" Treatment
"That's nothing," I groaned, trying to find a comfortable position for the "Double-Heirs." "Yesterday, I coughed. Just a tiny, 10% cough. Keifer stopped the entire car in the middle of a four-lane highway, turned the 'Bio-Defense' air filtration to 1,000%, and started calling specialists in Switzerland."
"Switzerland?!" Rina gasped.
"Switzerland," I confirmed. "I told him it was just a tickle in my throat, and he told me my throat was 'High-Value Infrastructure' and he wasn't taking any 'Unverified Risks'."
The "Roast" Session: Summary of Grievances
The Man The "Glitch" The Ladies' Verdict
Keifer Thinks "Romance" is a 2,000% Hostile Takeover. "The Ice-King Simp."
Keigan Tried to "Sync" Rina's sleep cycle to his. "The Update Dork."
Felix Treats a date like a "Tactical Extraction." "The Bodyguard Boyfriend."
Keizer Still thinks he can out-negotiate Mamma. "The Legacy Legend (who still loses)."
Mamma's Secret Weapon
"You have to learn to 'Override' their systems," Mamma Serina whispered, leaning in like she was sharing a state secret. "When Keizer gets too 'CEO' with me, I simply tell him my 'Emotional Battery' is at 1% and only a shopping trip to Paris can recharge the 'Interface'."
"Does it work?" Rina asked, eyes wide.
"1,000%," Mamma winked. "He's a Watson. They can't handle 'Incomplete Data'. They have to fix the problem immediately."
Bridget grinned, cracking her knuckles. "I just tell Felix I've gone 'Off-Grid'. The panic in his eyes is 2,000% more entertaining than any movie."
The "Entry" Interruption
Suddenly, the door swung open. Keifer walked in, looking sharp, intense, and 1,000% suspicious. He headed straight for me, checking my tea cup for "Contaminants" before kissing my forehead.
"The library session is over," he announced. "Why is there so much 'Phonetic Noise' in this room? Are you 'Plotting' against the management?"
I looked at the girls. Bridget was stifling a laugh, Rina was pretending to write, and Mamma was looking innocent.
"We were just discussing 'System Upgrades', Hubby," I said, patting my bump. "Specifically, how to 'Uninstall' your over-protectiveness."
Keifer's eyes narrowed as he looked at the other men standing in the doorway. "Negative. That feature is 'Hard-Wired'. Let's go, Jay. It's time for your 'Mandatory Napping Protocol'."
Bridget mouthed: "The Ice-King Simp strikes again!"