Chapter 31
The Distance I Created
(Jay's POV)
I tried.
I really tried.
To be normal.
To wake up…
go to college…
talk to friends…
smile…
Like nothing happened.
Like I didn't just lose him.
Like I didn't break him.
"Jay, what happened?"
Ella's voice.
Concerned.
"Nothing."
"Don't lie."
"I'm fine."
I wasn't.
Not even close.
But I still said it.
Because saying the truth…
would make it real.
And I wasn't ready for that.
College felt different.
Too big.
Too empty.
Too quiet.
Even with people around.
Because he wasn't there.
At first…
I thought he was just late.
Maybe avoiding me.
Maybe needing time.
I understood that.
Or at least…
I tried to.
But then—
One day passed.
Then two.
Then a week.
And he didn't come.
Not once.
"Where is Keifer?" someone asked.
"Don't know."
"Maybe busy."
"Maybe sick."
Maybe.
So many maybes.
But none of them felt right.
I opened my phone.
His chat.
Still there.
Still pinned.
Still… everything.
I typed—
"Are you okay?"
Sent.
Seen.
No reply.
Hours passed.
Nothing.
Next day—
"Come to college."
Sent.
Seen.
No reply.
The silence…
It hurt more than anything.
Because this wasn't him.
He used to reply.
Always.
Even if he was busy.
Even if he was annoyed.
Even if we fought.
He never left me like this.
But now?
Nothing.
And slowly…
I understood.
He wasn't just avoiding me.
He was leaving.
Not suddenly.
Not dramatically.
But slowly.
Quietly.
Like he was removing himself…
from my life.
Piece by piece.
I saw him once.
From far.
Near the parking area.
Standing alone.
Hands in pockets.
Head slightly down.
Different.
Completely different.
I wanted to go to him.
Run.
Call his name.
Stop him.
But I didn't.
Because I had no right to.
Not after what I said.
He looked up.
For a second…
Our eyes met.
And my heart broke again.
Because there was nothing.
No warmth.
No teasing.
No softness.
Just…
distance.
Cold.
Controlled.
Like I was just another person.
He looked away.
And walked.
Without stopping.
Without slowing down.
Without me.
That's when I realized.
I didn't just lose him.
I lost us.
Completely.
Days passed.
And it only got worse.
No texts.
No calls.
No presence.
Nothing.
And him?
People started talking.
"He doesn't come anymore."
"He's changed."
"He doesn't talk to anyone."
"He looks… off."
Each word felt like a stab.
Because I knew why.
I knew the reason.
And it was me.
I broke him.
Not intentionally.
Not willingly.
But I did.
And the worst part?
I had to pretend like I didn't.
Smile in front of others.
Talk normally.
Live normally.
While inside…
Everything was empty.
Because the person who filled my life…
Was slowly disappearing.
Right in front of me.
And I couldn't do anything.
Because I chose this.
I chose my family.
My promise.
My father's trust.
And in that choice…
I lost him.
And now…
I have to live with it.
Every day.
Every moment.
Without him.
And maybe…
This is what love looks like…
When it doesn't win.
To be continued… 😭💔