Chapter 29: Craziness
Zein's Point of View....
I've never thought about this. It never even crossed my mind that this could happen even for a second. I can't believe it. The guy I admire, the guy I trust the most, the guy who makes me smile, is a member of a gang.
I don't want to think about it. I don't want to accept it. I don't want to say it. This isn't Matthew, this is not him. He can't do this, he can't join the side of evil. Damn! This is not Matt.
I stepped back so I bumped into something behind me. I glanced at it. The red-haired guy smiled at me. I don't know why but his smile gives me chills.
"Is there a problem?" he asked with a smirk.
I can't help but feel nervous. Is he suspicious of me now?
"N-No." I can't help but stutter.
I just turned my gaze forward again. I turned pale when I saw what Nazzer was now holding.
Shit! No, Matt! Don't do this!
Nazzer was holding a hot iron. At the tip of it was carved a nail with a snake. That is the symbol of Black Blood Gang.
Matthew Hart!
I want to scream loudly. I want to pull him away but I'm frozen in place. It seems that I am having a nightmare and I badly want to wake up. Someone must slap me.
"Are you ready?" Nazzer asked him with a smirk, clearly happy about Matt joining them.
Fuck!
"I am."
Matt rolled up his sleeve and prepared his arm. Nicky removed Matthew's mask which shocked everyone.
Matt glared at her but remained calm. She subtly smirked at me.
She did it so I could really see that the guy behind that mask is my friend. You are really a bitch, Nicky.
My breathing became harder. I can clearly see now the emotionless Matthew. It's like he's not Matthew anymore.
It's like he's not the guy I've been with for a long time. It seems like everything about him changed and I will never accept it.
"Ahh...!"
I tightly closed my eyes when I heard Matt's pained groan. I can't take it. It seems my tears are about to fall any second. I don't want to hear his sorrowful wail.
I know it hurts. It fucking hurts. And that hot iron will become a scar on Matt's arm, forever, along with the BBG mark.
Why did everything have to come to this? Why does Matt have to do this? No matter what reason I think of, I can't find one. I can't find any reason for Matt to join the monsters.
I'm thinking now.
What difference does Matt have from them anyway?
I just felt my feet move away. At first slowly, until they sped up. I just found myself running. I don't know where I should go anymore? Where I should put myself.
I don't want to believe it but my own two eyes saw it. I clearly saw what happened. Matthew is now a member of the Black Blood Gang, he's not just a member. He's also a second leader. Nice.
I just found myself behind the HU. There are tall trees here. Scary? Yes, but I think there's nothing scarier than what I witnessed earlier.
I even regret now why I went out.
"Ahh!" I screamed in frustration.
I want to cry but it seems that my tears were frozen.
"Why?! Why is this happening?!" I screamed again.
I don't care if someone hears me now. I don't care anymore. It's like a part of me is missing that only Matt can fill.
It fucking hurts! I can't help but hate myself. I also can't help but think of Matt.
"Why?! Why do you have to do this?! I hate you!"
No matter how much I scream, the pain seems to never go away. "You are better than this," I said to myself without thinking.
"You are too noisy."
"You don't care abou—"
I stopped and briefly observed the guy who is now facing me. His dark eyes with one red. The black aura. The chill he is giving to me. I cannot be wrong, the guy now standing in front of me is none other than—
"Raze."
He briefly smirked before looking around. "Do you know that it's not good for a young lady to be here in the middle of the night?" he asked.
I couldn't gather any answer. It's like all my strength disappeared. He is really a monster. I can say that he is the scariest creature I have ever seen in my life. That red mask.
Devil God Warrior's leader is now standing in front of me. I could clearly smell danger. Having him around is giving anyone uneasiness and chills.
He looked at me so I swallowed. "The way you look at me. Are you scared of me?" He somewhat laughed at his question.
Damn! Who would not be?! You are one of a hell scary shit! Death is always beside you, ready to pick up whoever you want. Now, shouldn't you be feared?
"You should not scare at me. He is scarier than me."
Who is he? No one is scarier than you.
"He is the man you wouldn't want to go against with." He added.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know what's bothering you." He smirked. "They thought that some just NEWBIE could kill me?" he laughed softly.
I know what he is referring to so I can't help but feel angry. "Don't you dare."
I threatened him as if I can do something about this.
His face turned serious so my knees felt weak. Matt is in danger. Fuck!
"Give me a reason why I shouldn't kill him?"
Reason? I have so many damn reasons but I know he doesn't care about that reasons. Now, what reason should I say?
"If you can't give me a reason the—"
"Because of me." I cut him off. I don't know where I got that answer.
He can't kill Matt because of me? Whoa! What a reason, Zein.
"Because of you?" He asked back with a hint of amazement.
"Y-Yes. Please!"
I almost beg-I am practically begging now. I am begging for Matt's safety.
"Okey. You are an enough reason. You know why?"
I remained silent at the same time is nervous.
"You are the only reason behind all the reasons. And I have the reason why I should protect you. Maybe a reason of wreck. You are a hinder. But a reason will make you still alive. A reason that no one will not have a guts to against with."
He left me hanging. Even with one of the things he said, I understood nothing. The only thing I understood was that I was the reason. But why?
"Let's go?"
I looked at the man in front of me now, a man who is also one of the reasons why I am outside.
I want to ask him but it seems that I was too weak to open my mouth. I just know that Dave is assisting me.
Does he know? Surely, but what does he know now? What is his reason for being outside at this hour?
"He is really as scary as shit. I couldn't even move from where I was earlier and I waited for him to leave before I could get you." I heard him say.
So, he heard everything too?
Sigh!
This information is too much to handle. I didn't know everything would turn out like this. My only plan was to find out what they do outside every night - Oh yes, what do they do at this hour? I should have been suspicious but I couldn't bring myself to suspect them.
When we arrived at the dorm, we found the same situation, the two were still asleep. Sigh
I went to the kitchen to get water. "You shouldn't be going out at this hour." I heard Dave advise me.
I almost spit the water in his face.
"I should be the one to say that!" I was controlling my annoyance in case the two woke up.
"What are friends for? For lying? For pretending? For keeping a secret? Well that's not friendship. That is a bullshit." I almost cursed in disappointment.
"You don't know anything."
"Because you didn't say this things."
I slammed the glass down and passed him by. I sat on the sofa and leaned my back.
"We didn't tell you because we didn't want you involved."
"It will never be a reason. There is no reason to keep this shit. Tell me, what are you doing outside?"
He averted his gaze which made my eyes narrow even more.
"You won't say it?" I asked.
"I shouldn't be the one to s-"
"Fine!"
I sighed and calmed myself. And Jerome too. Where the hell is him? Hay.
" Keep this a secret." I requested calmly.
"You won't say anything to them about what happened today. I'm going to sleep." I just went straight to our room and slowly lay down on the bed.
I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling.
Matthew, why?
The next day, it was obvious I was tired and hadn't slept well. I tried to sleep but the heck I can't. A lot of things is bothering me. I want to forget everything and act as if nothing happened but it was so hard.
I just sighed. I hid myself in what I call the secret garden. It's rare for anyone to be here and now I'm alone. The surroundings are peaceful, I can clearly hear the rustling of the trees and the chirping of the birds that lighten my mood.
I tried to act normal infront of them, especially on Matt.
But it's really hard, it's hard to pretend I don't know anything. It's hard to hide my feelings and I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment.
"Meow."
I almost jumped in surprise when the black cat suddenly jumped next to me. For the nth time! It surprised me again!
My eyes narrowed. Why does it seem to be following me? It's probably just a coincidence. This cat can't follow me because I'm not its owner.
"Come here," I picked it up and placed it on my lap. I stroked its fur.
"Are you following me?" I asked it. "Why do you still need to surprise me?" I asked again.
I giggled when it licked my hand. It tickles so I couldn't help but pat its head.
"Haha. You're so playful!" I patted its head again.
"Meow."
"What's your name?" I asked.
If anyone could hear me now, they would probably think I'm crazy for talking to a cat.
"I know now!" My grin widened when I thought of a possible name for it. "Hoy!" I surprised it, making it move back slightly.
I laughed softly at what I did. "Now you know what it feels like to be surprised?" I asked laughingly.
I'm going crazy.
"From now on, your name is Hoy. You're good at that, aren't you?"
"Meow."
I stroked its fur again. I just watched it going around my lap. I'll just adopt it temporarily while its owner isn't here yet.
"I will adopt you for temporary. Just don't be a ghost. Oh my."
I remembered the story Ate Allison told me about a ghost pretending to be a cat.
"Are you done talking to your cat?"
I flinched in surprise because of Supremo's sudden appearance in front of me. My eyes narrowed when I saw his appearance.
"Did you comb your hair?" I asked with a frown.
He blushed and looked away slightly. "H-Huh? Why would you ask?" He asked.
I can't be wrong. I know very well the appearance of Supremo's hair when he doesn't comb it.
"You combed it e-Wait? Woa! What is that smell?" I asked. I moved a little closer to him to confirm my suspicion.
"Aha! You wore perfume!" I said like an idiot.
He almost couldn't look at me and his face was very red.
"A-And what about it now?!"
"So handsome." I just covered my mouth after saying that.
"R-Really?"
I nodded shyly.
Suddenly his cold look and aura returned. He somehow reminds me of Raze.
"Handsome than Matth- Lets go!"
"Are you bringing that cat?" He pointed at Hoy whom I was carrying.
"Is it bad? Besides, it has a name. Hoy!"
"Insane." He whispered softly but I clearly heard him
. "Let's go."He pulled me again.
My attention was immediately caught by a person standing not far from us. If before I would smile and wave at him but what I did now was just glance past him.
I ignored, Matt.
The tightness in my chest.