Hell was loud.
Lava bubbled. Chains rattled. A demon somewhere screamed because that's what the schedule said.
Delta sat on his throne, boots crossed on the armrest, staring at nothing.
Narrator:
Delta, ancient Guardian of Hell, felt an inexplicable sense of irritation.
Delta blinked.
"…No I don't."
Rei, standing beside him, didn't look surprised. She never did.
Narrator:
He shifted, annoyed, already growing tired of eternity—
"Okay," Delta interrupted, looking straight up. "Who the flip is that."
Silence.
Rei slowly turned her head toward him. "That… wasn't you?"
"No," Delta said. "I don't talk like that."
Narrator:
Delta had now become aware of the narration.
Delta leaned forward. "Aware of what narration."
He stood up, looking around the throne room, squinting at the air.
"Is this Hell?" he asked. "Did Hell start monologuing again?"
---
Chapter 1: The Voice
Rei folded her arms. "You're hearing a voice."
"Yes," Delta said. "It's describing what I'm doing as I do it. That's unsettling."
Narrator:
Delta gestured angrily.
"I'm not angry," Delta snapped. "I'm confused. There's a difference."
A demon cautiously raised a hand. "Lord Delta, sir… is the voice talking about us too?"
Narrator:
The demon, sweating nervously, regretted speaking.
The demon screamed. "WHY DID I REGRET IT. I DIDN'T EVEN—"
Delta pointed at him. "See? That! That's not normal mind invasion, that's editorial commentary."
Rei sighed. "Are you breaking reality again."
"I didn't touch anything," Delta said. "This time."
---
Chapter 2: Delta Argues With Reality
Narrator:
Delta paced the throne room, each step echoing—
"Stop," Delta said.
Narrator:
He stopped.
"…Oh come on."
Delta stared at the ceiling. "You're not a god. You're not a demon. You're not even ominous. You sound like a book."
Rei tilted her head slightly. "…A what."
Delta snapped his fingers. A book appeared. He flipped through it.
Blank.
"…Rude."
Narrator:
The narrator found Delta's irritation amusing.
Delta squinted. "Did you just say you."
Rei's eyes narrowed. "Delta. The voice has a personality."
Delta groaned. "Great. Hell's haunted by an author."
---
Chapter 3: Negotiations
Delta crossed his arms. "Alright. Voice. Rules."
Narrator:
There were none.
"That's not an answer."
Narrator:
Delta was, in fact, losing his patience.
"Oh I've lost it already," Delta said. "I'm just being polite."
Rei stepped forward, calm as ever. "Narrator."
Narrator:
Yes?
Delta froze.
"…Did it just respond to you."
Rei nodded slowly. "It did."
She looked upward. "If you insist on narrating our existence, please stop stating the obvious."
Narrator:
The narrator considered this.
Delta leaned in. "And no dramatic pauses. Those are annoying."
Narrator:
…Fine.
"Thank you."
Reality settled. Hell hummed. The air felt… quieter.
Delta relaxed.
---
Chapter 4: One Last Line
A moment passed.
Delta smirked. "See, Rei? Problem solved."
Rei allowed the faintest smile.
Narrator:
It was not.
Delta's head snapped up. "OH COME ON."
He pointed at nothing. "I swear— if this turns into footnotes—"
Hell trembled.
Rei sighed. "Delta."
"Yeah?"
"Please don't fight the narration."
Delta slumped back onto the throne.
"…I hate books."
Narrator:
He always did.
"STOP."
Hell learned something that day.
Delta can fight gods.
Rei can calm Hell.
But no one wins an argument with the narrator