LUCIEN…
Confusion and shock guided my erratic hands as I traced lines and shades on the wooden canvas.
Blood pooled under my tongue as my teeth ground hard against each other.
This can't be…
It is impossible.
When my mind failed to give me a clear explanation about what had happened that night, my fingers, which clasped tightly around the charcoal I used to draw, dug deeper into the wood until small pieces began to chip away.
Who, in the seven gods' name, is she?
How did she do that?
I remember how rage had consumed me so completely that I could not even control myself.
I would never have dared to end a life, of my own accord - but there I was, ready to tear her into shreds just for walking into my sacred space.
I remember the look of fear in her eyes as she pleaded with me and as she tried to protect herself from my attacks.
Her fear was visible on her skin as she turned pale — a trembling creature cornered by a beast that could not be controlled.
And like the cursed animal that I am, I still went after her.
But she stopped me.
She merely raised her hand towards me, and I was flying backwards to the floor with a speed I couldn't fathom, like a dead kite.
The look on her face set me off completely - surprise and shock.
I had looked around the room even as my body set ablaze with pain, for a third party, but it was just the two of us.
And then she touched me.
Even after witnessing the monster that I am, she cradled me in a way I wished my mother had had the chance to.
Hugging my head so close to her soft skin, which had gone pale with fear, and running her hand over the burning light on my chest like a witch.
And it was gone.
Just a trail of her long, slender fingers, and the fire disappeared, the hole in my chest closing up at the commands of her fingers.
The fear in her eyes was replaced with concern, pain, and a worry that no one had ever shown me.
No one.
The bone-shattering scream that came from a corner of the house tore through my thoughts, stilling my darkened hands on the canvas.
I turned towards the door, and there was Yeneffer, looking backwards towards the door with the same surprise and confusion on her face.
My legs twitched beneath me, prodding me to ignore the hesitation in my head.
'What was that?' My eyes searched helplessly in her eyes for the truth even before she said anything.
'She is awake'
'What is wrong with her?' Her eyes squinted at me with her own stacks of questions buried somewhere in her head.
'You should not worry about her, Lucien, ' she moved towards me as she spoke, and I just stood still, my heart still beating at the mere thought of what could be happening to the girl at the other end of the house.
'She is just like the others, and she will be gone soon.' Her eyes searched my face for something more than she could see on my expression.
She didn't understand my new attitude - this concern in my voice.
And neither did I.
'I have made arrangements, and she will be gone by dusk'
'NO!' I growled, in the voice of the animal buried inside me.
'What?' Yennefer stared back at me with wide green eyes and eyebrows raised so high, they almost touched the hair on her skull.
I didn't know why I said that; I wasn't even sure if I had said that of my own accord.
But I felt alive with the decision anyway.
'I said no. She will remain here. I got up from the chair and walked towards the door with the chalk still in my hand.
'But you can't do that. She serves no purpose here.
'I decide whether or not she serves a purpose. I decide who stays and who leaves' I barked. My body instantly flamed with an intense anger.
But that did not scare Yennefer at all.
Instead, she stared back at me with wide eyes that seemed to have aged in seconds. Her hands suddenly fidgety beside her.
'I am not going to let you do that, Lucien, she has to'
I was in front of her in an instant, my hands slowly tightening around her neck as I watched her struggle for breath.
My body shivered with a strange satisfaction as her body wriggled under my strong hold.
'I am beginning to wonder if I am still the Duke, or if you have taken over'
My vision turned red and blurry as I looked down at her shrinking form.
'Pl-p-pl-ea-se-ee,' she tried to mouth, but my hands only tightened even more around her neck.
My jaw clenched, and I could feel the heat rising behind my teeth.
Every pulse of blood I heard and felt from the vein on her neck was an invitation I could barely resist - to tear her apart.
Another scream tore through the walls of the manor, and my body went rigid.
The sound tore through my soul, too.
Undoing every beast that controlled my existence.
My hands left Yennefer's neck, and I ignored her as she crumpled to the floor, fighting for breath.
I had to deal with the new fire that was suddenly consuming me.
It was no longer burning from within; it was burning all over me.
I heard noises in my head, too loud to comprehend.
What is going on?
This is strange, and worse than anything I have ever experienced.
Is this because of her?
Who the hell is she?