ELISA…
Where is Mother when I need her?
She would have had the best herbs and tonic for whatever pain and madness were consuming me.
The screaming had stopped, but the echoes of the voices still rattled inside my skull.
I hugged myself as I lay shivering on the cold floor, unsure if the chill came from the stone beneath me… or from something freezing me from the inside.
The darkness in the room suddenly felt alive - whispering and breathing with me.
Then I heard it.
Footsteps.
As heavy as a thousand shoulders running off to battle, and as slow as a tactical predator.
It grew closer with each stride.
I tried to pull myself from the floor and move backwards towards the wall, my palms biting with the cold as they touched the cold stone floor, but every movement sent agony spiking through my limbs.
Yennefer's voice clung to my mind like rot.
Be careful with him.
He is a beast.
He might rip you apart next time.
And the pain in my shoulder and back reminded me of an attack I didn't even remember happening.
But who else will dig claws into my back and leave savage marks on me like that if not Lucien?
He is the beast everyone has feared after all.
The steps paused outside my door, and silence thickened for a few seconds until the door creaked open.
A rush of heat flooded the room as Lucien entered, immediately dispelling the chills in my body that were about to freeze me.
No. No, no—
My breath caught in my throat as he walked slowly towards me.
His brows raised as he crouched slowly towards me.
I pressed my back against the wall, shaking so violently I could barely lift my head.
He stopped when he saw me — his eyes widening like he wasn't prepared for the sight of me.
"Elisa…" His voice was a low rumble, strained and rough.
'Nooo! Leave me alone.
My body melted with the heat he carried, and once again, I could feel the pounding of my heart.
I strained to move towards the corner of the room, and he noticed my withdrawal.
He reached a hand toward me, trembling with uncertainty and need.
"Don't," I gasped, scrambling farther away. "Stay away from me."
He recoiled immediately as my words hit his ears.
He stopped to look at me with confusion written all over his face.
He looked hurt.
"You don't have to be afraid, it's me, Lucien," he said in a low and trembling voice, as if almost afraid of my rejection.
I will be foolish to fall for a monster's pretense.
I had seen him.
Just a while ago, when he tried to strangle Yennefer.
I had seen the blood lust in his eyes and the hunger that simmered inside him.
I had seen him for who he truly was, and I know he must have done this to me anyway.
I just don't understand why I don't even believe my own myself.
He took another step towards me. The closer he came, the more the room seemed to tighten around us.
He crouched down in front of me - a predator attempting softness - and reached for my arm.
And I shut my eyes and screamed as I flinched back.
Lucien recoiled immediately, collapsing to one knee and staring at me with dark, wide eyes.
He stared at me with disbelief, confusion, and something darker.
"Elisa…" His voice cracked. "It's Lucien…you saved me"
"That isn't true," I snapped.
Tears welled up in my eyes as the pain on my back intensified, reminding me of who he is.
"You are a monster. You attacked me. You were going to kill me."
Lucien's face froze in horror.
It was the first emotion I'd seen on him that wasn't anger.
"I…" His jaw clenched. The veins on his neck pulsed. "I would never…you stopped me…and…and you healed me' his hands ran over his chest, and I wondered if he was trying to show me something.
'You did this to me,' I turned slightly to show him the nail marks on my shoulder and my back, and he staggered back.
His face was immediately clouded with confusion and anger.
He shook his head slowly as his eyes remained fixed on the marks.
'No…no, I didn't do that to you,' he repeated.
'You stopped me that night'
What night is he talking about?
Does he not have memories of things he has done to people?
He reached for my hand again with his other hand — slower this time, like I was a wounded thing.
He wanted to show me whatever was on his chest.
"Please," he said in ragged breaths. His eyes pleaded with me to just let him hold me.
I flinched away like his touch might kill me.
Lucien's eyes darkened - hurt turned to something vicious. Rejected. Starving. His curse surged - I saw the veins beneath his skin throb with fire.
His breath came out in a snarl.
Before he could speak, before I could scream again—
"Elisa!"
Yennefer's voice cut through the growing heat in the room.
She rushed to me and pulled me against her chest.
In that very moment, I felt like I was back in my mother's protective arms again.
I shut my eyes and rested my head on her bosom, wrapping my arms around her slim body and totally ignoring the coldness of her own body - it felt much better than the burning demon kneeling across from us.
When I opened my eyes again, Lucien remained still in front of us.
No, not still.
Frozen in state.
His eyes shone brightly with confusion and betrayal.
He took one step toward us, and Yennefer hissed, "Stay back."
Her command poured petrol over the fire in his eyes.
Lucien stared at her hand wrapped around me like it was a crime.
'I want to go back home,' I finally muttered.
'I want to get out of here, please.'
Yennefer's grip tightened.
I buried my face into her shoulder, too terrified to look up.
'You heard the girl, Lucien. She doesn't want to stay here.' Yennefer's voice carried a sarcastic tone to it, but I didn't care to know why.
Just as long as she saved me from this beast.
'NO!' he growled as he got down on his second knee.
'No way'
'You can't force her to stay. You are not the monster they think you are Lucien's Yennefer said in a soft voice, trying desperately to convince him.
He is not a monster? Then what normal being will have eyes blazing with fire like that? And try to kill two women.
What about the other girls who have come here and disappeared forever?
'She can't go…pleaseee…I will die' he crumbled to the floor as the beast within him began to unravel.
He clutched his arms tightly as he tried to control himself, and I held on tightly to Yennefer as we watched him transform.
I dared not move from her side.
I didn't want to think of what he might do to me if I tried to run out of the room and he caught me.
But what did he mean by him dying if I left?
Was that true? Or just mere words to keep me here?