Kerry groaned. "This… all this… is just you being disgusting. And maybe if you stick both your fingers up your nose, that might actually work."
"No, think about it… If I activated laser-firing fingers, both my fingers would be up my nostrils, so I'd end up firing lasers into my own brain."
"Exactly, dipshit."
"Anyway… Chad unlocked his quirk of being irresistible to women."
Rolling her eyes, she snapped, "That isn't a quirk! He's irresistible to women because he's fucking sexy and makes me cum just looking at him."
Bishop looked hopeful. "Do you think… I could inherit his quirk?"
"No, because you're fucking ugly."
"Oh… So how do you think he activated his women-magnet quirk?"
"By being born."
"So you think he was sexy as a baby?"
"You're really asking me that? Bet he didn't look like a fucking gremlin like you did."
"Please… Just stop talking about Chad!"
"Stop talking? Why?! Did you fall out with him or something?"
"No… the opposite."
"The opposite? Oh, I see… You're still wanking over Chadlina? Those pics of Chad with the male-to-female gender swap? Are you fucking serious, Bishop? You're a literal nightmare of a human being!"
"Yeah… that's basically why I can't even talk to him right now. I wanked over Chadlina so much… I even started getting horny looking at pictures of Chad. But I'm not gay, I swear!"
"Oh, you're not gay? Right, jerking your dick into a fantasy version of your best mate magically makes you a totally normal person! You're a revolting little gremlin, Bishop! I swear, if anyone ever actually saw you doing this, they'd need therapy just from your disgusting little habits!"
"No, weren't you listening? I said I was going to save him… The evil bunny girls locked him in there."
"Oh, shut the fuck up! You want to go in the closet with him to meet your own goddamn fantasy? Ugh, Bishop, you're so repulsive I can't even… I need a shower just thinking about you!"
He was about to reply when he heard tiny footsteps and a faint rustle in the vent above.
"Little K… Wait… shhh… Listen… I can hear a rat coming. Aiden Finn sent another one—he's trying to communicate a message to me."
"Shhh… listen… It's the sound of my will to live escaping." Kerry snorted.
The vent groaned softly, followed by a faint squeak that skittered through the metal.
"I hear it coming," Bishop whispered.
Kerry muttered, "I swear, if that thing drops on my head…"
Then—a tiny, fuzzy pink nose poked through the vent. The metal rattled, dust sprinkling down like a grim omen.
Bishop stood frozen, trembling with awe. "Aiden Finn… the eternal Rat King has spoken! His messenger scurries forth—the ultimate beast of legend… Rat-tan, bringer of squeaky truth!"
Blinking, she gawked. "That… that's a rat?! That's a funny-looking rat!"
And then, nervously, the penis monster peeked out from the vent—still traumatised from the loud bang. It panicked, squealing as it dropped from the vent, scrambling into the first hole it could find.
Two holes, side by side… Surely, they were the same.
The cramped passage twisted and coiled like some forgotten dungeon of nightmares. Twisting vines, slick with slime, brushed against the creature as it slithered forward, wriggling through the narrow, oppressive space. Every movement pressed it tighter against the walls, the passage shrinking around it, forcing it deeper and deeper. Lumps of goo clung stubbornly to its slick form.
Bishop screamed, "The rat!! The rat… it went up my nose!! Get it out!!"
"Ewww… just… just ew!"
He howled again, louder this time, thrashing his arms. "I CAN'T BREATHE! IT'S IN MY BRAIN, I KNOW IT… HELP ME, LITTLE K!!"
Kerry snapped, voice sharp as a blade. "That's not a fucking rat, you absolute dipshit. That's a penis up your nose!"
A choked gasp escaped him. "A penis?! You mean a rat penis is hanging out of my nose—from the rat?!"
"NO, you clueless moron… This isn't a rat. This is a goddamn full-on penis sticking and flopping out of your nose! It's always something with you. I don't know why I even hang around you—you're my brother, and yet somehow, somehow it's always this embarrassing!"
"It… it's a what?!" He squeaked, nasally and panicked.
The veiny shaft of Mr. Dummura's penis wormed deeper, the swollen head bulging the nostril with slick schlurps. Saggy balls dangled like overripe plums in a damp sock, swinging and slapping his lip. They twitched, dripping snot, dust, and shame with every panicked breath.
Kerry recoiled, gagging. "Ugh… ugh, ugh, ugh! That is… so disgusting! I—I can't even look at this, you absolute nightmare!"
"My nose burns…" Bishop whimpered, fighting the urge to grab it with his hands. His nose twitched and flared, trying to dislodge the invader and clear his sinuses, but it was useless.
And then his eyes fell on the balls… And suddenly, horror and disbelief crashed over him. He knew—oh no, he knew—that it wasn't just some weird thing, some harmless rat appendage… It was a full-on cock… and one… although tinny, bigger than his…
"Ugh, fucking nightmare fuel… You're so disgusting!!"
Stammering, panic practically vibrating through every fibre of his body, Bishop gasped, "I-I'm disgusting! I didn't choose to have this up my nose… I thought it was a rat, carrying a message from Aiden Finn!"
He tried to sneeze, but nothing came out, his nostrils flaring as the thing wriggled stubbornly upward. Arms flailed, body twisting in helpless terror as he sniffled and gasped, desperate to dislodge it. Then he babbled on, voice cracking and squeaky. "And how is this disgusting… It's no different than when you have a penis in your mouth, sucking it like a tit!"
She recoiled, her entire body tensing.
"WHAT?!" she screeched, voice cracking like a whip. "You just compared a nostril-dick to a blowjob? Are you fucking insane?! A blowjob is the ultimate power move: a sexy guy's cock in your mouth, you owning every twitch, every gasp, holding his climax hostage. You gift him heaven, and when he explodes down your throat—hot, thick, pulsing—it's his soul pouring into you, binding you in raw, filthy connection. And you want to equate that to your snot-crusted sinus worm?!"
Bishop's face flushed, protests dying on his tongue. Even in his panicked state, he recognised the utter absurdity of his comparison.
Eyes watering, he watched as the penis monster twisted inside his nasal cavity, coiling like a slick serpent. Its swollen head swirled in slow, probing circles, scraping tender membranes with every veiny ridge, while the balls dragged upward.
"It isn't going to deep-throat my nose… is it?!"
Horror and rage contorted Kerry's expression, eyes blazing. "D-DEEP-THROAT… YOUR FUCKING NOSE?!" she screamed, shaking her head like she might snap it off. "No… no, that's not how this shit works! That's not how any of this fucking works, you clueless virgin!"
"I don't care… Just get it out! Grab the balls and pull it or something! I wanted a message telepathically straight to my brain… That doesn't mean I want the messenger crawling up my nose and touching my brain!" he yelled, voice cracking with desperation.
A groan escaped through gritted teeth. "Just fucking sneeze it out, like every other time you shoved a goddamn tampon up your nose… Remember that shitshow disaster?!"
Bishop's hands shook, fingers clawing at his nose. "Y-yeah… that… that traumatic experience… Okay, okay, I'll… I'll sneeze it out…"